When boundaries become contagious, it can set the tone of an organisation. I’ve run a series of masterclasses lately, and I’m constantly asked: “How do I set boundaries?”, “How do I defend them?”, “How do I get others to respect my boundaries?”
In one masterclass, a group described a leader they admired. What stood out wasn’t that this person operated an open-door policy, or strived for 24/7 responsiveness. It was the opposite. Their door wasn’t always open, and outside of office hours, they didn’t reply. They were clear on their boundaries, and people didn’t just respect them; they copied them.
Their boundaries became contagious.
Broken Boundaries Spread Too
The point I want to emphasise is that boundaries can spread. In this example, for the better, but broken boundaries can be contagious too.
When a leader protects their boundaries, others respect them and feel they can do the same. When a leader breaks their boundaries, however, everyone else’s boundaries can start to blur too.
Make Your Boundaries Visible and Contagious
People mirror what they see, not what they’re told. You don’t need a manifesto; your habits send a stronger message than any policy.
Here are some signals you can send to your team to encourage them to introduce healthy boundaries:
1) Define your working hours – and stick to them.
Share your working hours with your team and don’t respond outside of these hours. If you do need to work into the evening, schedule sends for the morning.
2) Take your breaks.
A brief break to walk or stretch allows your nervous system to switch off. If teams see you doing this, they’re more likely to themselves. If they see you eating lunch at your desk, however, you’re demonstrating that this is your expectation of them too.
3) Build buffers around meetings.
Review your meeting culture, shorten your default meeting times by 5-10 minutes to allow everyone a moment to reset between calls. Make 30-minute meetings 25 minutes and hour-long meetings 50 minutes, then use the time to turn away from your screen and reset in between.
4) Share your non-negotiables.
Whether you’re doing the school run, attending an exercise class or meeting a friend for dinner, language makes the norm explicit and tells others it’s OK to balance work and life. Share your daily non-negotiables and encourage others to do the same.
5) Role-model leave.
Book time off and actually be off. Recovery fuels results, and if you neglect self-care or fail to shut off when you’re away from your desk, your team won’t take care of themselves either.
What To Do When Boundaries Get Tested
Energy, mood and motivation make sustained performance possible, which is why boundaries are so important.
There will be times when boundaries are pushed or tested. Here are some ways to prepare for those situations and ensure broken boundaries don’t become the norm:
- Name the pattern, not the person. If you notice after-hours notifications creeping back in, address the behaviour with the team and ask if anyone needs help to ensure work isn’t regularly extending into the evening.
- Hold the line, kindly. If someone comes to you with a request late in the day, kindly tell them you’ll pick it up in the morning when you are back online.
- Define ‘urgent’. When left ambiguous, everything can become ‘urgent’. As a team, define what ‘urgent’ means and the channel that should be used to communicate it.
- Celebrate recovery. Praising late-night pushes and hustle culture tells people this is the behaviour you value most. Instead, celebrate pace and recovery, and emphasise the positive impact rest has on performance.
How To Set Contagious Boundaries
The best way to set a behaviour is to role model it, and boundaries are no exception. Parents know that they teach by example, and leaders should be doing the same with their teams.
When you demonstrate that you’re protecting your energy, others learn to do the same. Boundaries aren’t barriers – they’re guardrails for sustainable high-performance.
So, ask yourself, what are you doing to exhibit protection around your boundaries?
In my keynotes, I address the challenges of today’s workplaces and offer strategies to support your teams to build boundaries and take ownership of their behaviours. Contact me to discuss your needs and find out how I can support your people to thrive in the fast-paced modern workplace.
